By now we've all seen the awful, awful story about the Florida man who was shot to death by police for refusing to stop chewing on another man's face.
We joked around about it being the canary in the mine shaft of an impending zombie apocalypse. But as Tumblr blogger "I Hope Rick Santorum" helpfully points out in an appropriately viral post, this latest incident is not so much a warning shot as it is another in a disconcertingly intensifying stream of zombie-invoking headlines — all from the past two weeks, and all from the Sunshine State.
It all started on 5/16 with an ominous story about a "mysterious rash" at McArthur High School in Hollywood that launched a HazMat investigation. Twleve students and two teachers were treated and released. The source of the rash remains unknown.
Flashfoward two days: HazMat crews were called in to Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport to determine the source of an "unknown chemical" that sent five people to the hospital. Theories abound, but an exact cause was not confirmed.
On 5/20, the first real sign of trouble: 41-year-old Dr. Zachary Bird, was arrested by the Florida Highway Patrol near Orlando and charged with felony battery charges for spitting blood in a patrolman's face. He was also "extremely agitated and enraged," and repeatedly banged his head on the patrol car's plexiglass partition "until he bled."
A few days later, another mystery rash was reported at yet another Broward County school. A HazMat team was once again called in to investigate, and once again left without any concrete answers.
The following day, a "disoriented" Canadian man was arrested aboard an American Airlines plane after he inexpicably attempted to rush the cockpit. The plane had just landed in Miami.
On Saturday, an unidentified homeless man had some 80% of his face bitten off by 31-year-old Rudy Eugene.
And here's the bad news: Whatever's happening in Florida appears to be spreading. The University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign tweeted the following the following warning to its students last night: "Hazardous materials released at Institute for Genomic Biology. Escape area if safe to do so. Otherwise seek shelter."
And in Hackensack, New Jersey, today, a man was rushed to the hospital after he reportedly cut out his own intestines and threw them at police officers.
Then this report which is as yet unconfirmed, from this afternoon -
Second Zombie Attack in Texas, Zombie Plague Spreads.
[Source Christwire.org ]
This is real people, can there be any doubt now? There has been a second Zombie Attack in Texas. The bath salt Induced Sodomy Zombie Plague that I told you about yesterday has spread.
A horrific scene was discovered on the bathroom floor.The 3 1/2 week old infant boy was found dead ,his body dismembered .Flesh missing from his face and she chewed 3 of his toes off.She severed his head off and ripped out his brain and ate it.The Zombie ate other body parts also ,then she stabbed herself.
San Antonio Police Chief William McManus said Monday: ”At this particular scene you could have heard a pin drop, no one was speaking. It was about as somber as it could have been. It’s too heinous for me to describe it any further,” McManus told reporters.
People in the Obama administration are trying to hide this second zombie attack. The zombie’s aunt, Gloria Sanchez, said her niece had been “in and out” of a psychiatric ward but did not say where she had been treated or why. Others are citing Postpartum depression as a possible cause. But any woman that has ever had a baby will tell you that they did not want to cut their babies head off and eat it’s brains.
No this is something else, this is zombies. Dont tell me this is fake. Even liberal news site MSNBC is reporting on this!
Please stay tuned into my next article on how the Obama Administration and the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) knew this was coming.
We joked around about it being the canary in the mine shaft of an impending zombie apocalypse. But as Tumblr blogger "I Hope Rick Santorum" helpfully points out in an appropriately viral post, this latest incident is not so much a warning shot as it is another in a disconcertingly intensifying stream of zombie-invoking headlines — all from the past two weeks, and all from the Sunshine State.
It all started on 5/16 with an ominous story about a "mysterious rash" at McArthur High School in Hollywood that launched a HazMat investigation. Twleve students and two teachers were treated and released. The source of the rash remains unknown.
Flashfoward two days: HazMat crews were called in to Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport to determine the source of an "unknown chemical" that sent five people to the hospital. Theories abound, but an exact cause was not confirmed.
On 5/20, the first real sign of trouble: 41-year-old Dr. Zachary Bird, was arrested by the Florida Highway Patrol near Orlando and charged with felony battery charges for spitting blood in a patrolman's face. He was also "extremely agitated and enraged," and repeatedly banged his head on the patrol car's plexiglass partition "until he bled."
A few days later, another mystery rash was reported at yet another Broward County school. A HazMat team was once again called in to investigate, and once again left without any concrete answers.
The following day, a "disoriented" Canadian man was arrested aboard an American Airlines plane after he inexpicably attempted to rush the cockpit. The plane had just landed in Miami.
On Saturday, an unidentified homeless man had some 80% of his face bitten off by 31-year-old Rudy Eugene.
And here's the bad news: Whatever's happening in Florida appears to be spreading. The University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign tweeted the following the following warning to its students last night: "Hazardous materials released at Institute for Genomic Biology. Escape area if safe to do so. Otherwise seek shelter."
And in Hackensack, New Jersey, today, a man was rushed to the hospital after he reportedly cut out his own intestines and threw them at police officers.
Then this report which is as yet unconfirmed, from this afternoon -
Second Zombie Attack in Texas, Zombie Plague Spreads.
[Source Christwire.org ]
This is real people, can there be any doubt now? There has been a second Zombie Attack in Texas. The bath salt Induced Sodomy Zombie Plague that I told you about yesterday has spread.
Scene of the zombie attack, a Mexican mother eats her childs brain still lives
after stabbed in the chest and throat cut.
Police Officers were called to San Antonio home early Sunday to find Otty Sanchez, sitting on the couch with a stab wound to her chest and her throat slashed, screaming “I killed my baby! I killed my baby!” She told officers the devil made her do it, police said.A horrific scene was discovered on the bathroom floor.The 3 1/2 week old infant boy was found dead ,his body dismembered .Flesh missing from his face and she chewed 3 of his toes off.She severed his head off and ripped out his brain and ate it.The Zombie ate other body parts also ,then she stabbed herself.
People in the Obama administration are trying to hide this second zombie attack. The zombie’s aunt, Gloria Sanchez, said her niece had been “in and out” of a psychiatric ward but did not say where she had been treated or why. Others are citing Postpartum depression as a possible cause. But any woman that has ever had a baby will tell you that they did not want to cut their babies head off and eat it’s brains.
No this is something else, this is zombies. Dont tell me this is fake. Even liberal news site MSNBC is reporting on this!
Please stay tuned into my next article on how the Obama Administration and the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) knew this was coming.
